One-Minute Read: Life Experiences Are Never Wasted

 recite-p2g94dWe ALL have to deal with challenging and difficult situations, people and relationships in our lives. If our expectation is that life should be effortless and others have it easier, then we will certainly be disappointed.

Some of us are dealing with loss (death or divorce) or with painful transitions or scary health situations. Whatever you are dealing with, it is important (at some point) to “step away” and view your situation from different angles.

• What are you learning from this experience?
• Are you deepening your compassion?
• Are you becoming less judgmental?
• Are you realizing that you are not living your passion?

At times it’s very helpful to depersonalize our situation. We tend to get very attached to our situations, whatever they are.

Please remember your situation does not define you — you define you!

• Your divorce does not define you.
• Your illness does not define you.

If you are struggling with a difficult life situation and you would like support and guidance in bringing out the meaning or need help getting unstuck…then please reach out to me and schedule an appointment.


 

Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

One-Minute Read: Change One Thing

One-Minute Read - Change One ThingIt’s easy to get overwhelmed when we want to start making changes in our lives.

So start with one thing you would like to change about yourself.

It could be controlling your impulsiveness so you don’t lash out at the ones you love.

It could be a decision to be more present in the moment with a loved one.

It could be scheduling 10 minutes in your day to exercise or have a quiet moment to rejuvenate.

You pick yours. Just pick one thing you want to change – something that’s doable.

I guarantee you will start to feel better about yourself and be more in control of your life. Then you can pick the next thing.


 

Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

One-Minute Read: Stop Believing Every Stupid Thought That Goes Through Your Head

One-Minute Read - Stop Believing Every Stupid Thought That Goes Through Your HeadOn average, would you say that many of your thoughts are fear-based, negative, anxious or self-doubting?

“I’m not good enough.”

“No one will like me.”

“I’m stupid.”

You are not alone. This is an all-too-common pattern for girls and women.

Stop believing every stupid thought that goes through your head! Start by paying attention to your thoughts.

If you have such negative thoughts about yourself, why do you believe them? Challenge them or ask a good friend to help you to challenge those thoughts.

Is it possible that such thoughts were put into your head a long time ago?

Did you put them in your head when you were in a different place in your life?

It is time to get rid of them. They do not serve any purpose in your life. Let them go.


 

Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

One-Minute Read: What Are You Tolerating?

One-Minute Read What Are You ToleratingWhat are you tolerating in your relationships that you should not be?

Arrogance, rudeness, disrespect, putdowns?

Why are you tolerating this? Where did you learn to tolerate being mistreated?

You matter!   You can learn how to respond (not react) to mistreatment. You can create positive changes in yourself (and hopefully your relationships).

What about your daughter? What have you observed her tolerating in friendships or dating relationships?

What are you willing to do to change this cycle?

Not sure how to start this process? Reach out to me so I can help you.


 

Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

One-Minute Read: Who’s Driving Your Bus?

One-Minute Read - Who’s Driving Your BusThe correct answer should be YOU.

We all should be in the driver’s seat of our own lives.

It can be so easy for a woman to get in the passenger’s seat — or even the back seat — and just go along for the ride.  To become a bystander.  To let other people make the decisions.

But this is your life.  What do you want?  What’s your opinion?

You matter!

Please drive your own bus.  Your daughter is watching.

 

 


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

1-Minute Read: Hear with new ears!

Rarely do we “hear” new information after we reach a certain age or stage in our life. We simply stop processing familiar sights, sounds and people because we are so accustomed to them.

As we age, however, we also mature and our perspective changes.  Therefore, we should constantly be listening with new ears. 

New ears permit us to hear old information with a fresh, open-minded awareness so it registers as though we are hearing something new and different.

The next time your husband, boyfriend or child speaks to you, make a conscious effort to listen with your new ears… you may be pleasantly surprised.

 


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

1-Minute Read: Future Problem or Present Problem?

How many of us spend a lot of time worrying about an issue in the future – one that may or may not ever happen? Don’t we have enough things to deal with right now? Yes!

  • First, decide what’s a current problem and what is a future one. Most of the things we worry about are in the future.
  • Keep critical thinking skills on today. Focusing on tomorrow’s problems can tie up our energy and keep us stuck.
  • Stay with current problems and we will find that we are more effective, less stressed and have more energy.

You can do this! Train your mind to think differently. Yes, it can be done.

If you are one of those people who say “It won’t work for me”, we should talk.

 


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

1 Minute Read: Stop The Arguing!

Many of us get stuck in an arguing pattern in our relationships and we can’t seem to get out of it.

Here is my advice:  Interrupt the pattern.  

  • It is normal and understandable that we all have emotional reactions when something upsets us so I’m not saying we have to stop having our emotional reactions.
  • What I am saying is that we can train ourselves to push the pause button before responding.
  • Yes, that’s right — we all have the ability to choose how we wish to respond in an argument or heated discussion.
  • By pushing the pause button we will give ourselves some time to think about what we want to say and how we would like to deliver the message.
  • This simple change can make a huge difference in our life and relationships.

Think about it: What’s the difference between reacting and responding?

 


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

1 Minute Read: What’s Draining Your Energy?

Your energy is vital to your happinessThere are three main areas to look at:

  1. Your activities.  Are you spending too much time doing things that drain your energy?  Most of us do.   Look for ways to scale back, ask for help, delegate or say NO.  Choose activities which give you energy.  This could be anything you find enjoyable or relaxing.
  2. Your thoughts.  So what are you thinking?  Are your thoughts positive, negative or anxious?  Something else?  You CAN control your thoughts.  Begin by being mindful of them.  Your thoughts feed into your emotions which contribute to your energy level.
  3. People.  Who are you spending time with in person or on social media?  Limit the amount of time you spend with people who cause you stress in some way.  When you have a choice, select people who lift you up, inspire and support you.  They will give you energy and inspiration.

You are in control.

Your energy is vital to your happiness.  Protect it.  Nurture it.  Share it.

Need help asserting your voice?  You and I should talk.  Please contact me via email or phone 703-505-2413 to arrange an appointment.

 


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

Why do we think we have to multitask all of the time?

Businesswoman Juggling ResponsibilitiesRecently I was at home on a call with my business coach. I was completely focused on our conversation when I just happened to notice that my dog’s shed hair had decided to congregate under my kitchen table.  So, not wanting to waste time, I decided that I could clean the kitchen floor and have a thought-provoking conversation on the phone.

Why do we think we have to multitask all of the time? 

There has never been a time such as this in history. Women make up almost 50% of our work force and own 30% of small businesses.  Yet we are still more likely to take on the majority of the childcare and home responsibilities. 

We’re moms, wives, business women, business owners, entrepreneurs, managers, and students. We’re taking care of our children and our parents.  We’re helping our community. We’re active in our church. We could drop dead from multi-tasking… but we’re making a difference!  At least that’s what we believe.

Here are some suggestions to help stressed out, overwhelmed women have some peace of mind (isn’t that what we all want?):

  • Reevaluate your busy schedule.  Prioritize it and let things go undone (yes, I know this is hard).  Put the big rocks in the bowl first.  What are you willing to give up?  That’s also a great question to ask each person in your family.
  • Ask for help. Be specific if you have to.  If others don’t know every little thing you do, they won’t know how they can help.
  • Communicate often – clearly and directly.  Don’t wait until resentment builds up and frustration becomes overwhelming.  This is when you can become irritable and even rude to the ones you love.
  • Deal with problems in the moment.  This is always best unless you feel that your emotional state will prevent you from being kind or clear. 

Of course, the holidays can be a very stressful time for women and we know why.  We tend to take on too much responsibility for everyone else’s happiness.  Expectations can be unrealistic.  This holiday season consider doing things differently. 

  1. Ask another family member to host.
  2. Ask others to bring dishes if you decide to host.
  3. Have dinner at a restaurant.
  4. Order a precooked meal.

There should be no shame involved. The idea is to lighten your workload so that you can enjoy the holidays as well. What a novel idea!

The media and society portray the ideal woman as someone who can rise with the sun, rush to the kitchen, whip up a gourmet breakfast, hand squeeze the orange juice, get the kids out the door, jump in the car and go to work looking glamorous, with a smile on her face. Absurd!

So I ask you, when will real women start to openly challenge the distorted image of the ideal woman? 

My vision of an ideal woman is a woman who knows how to be realistic, say no, ask for help, delegate or hire when possible… and definitely, get away from time to time.  Never underestimate the power of ME time, however you define it.

What is your new vision of an ideal woman and can you become her?

If you’re struggling coming up with asserting your voice, you and I should talk.  You may contact me via email or phone 703-505-2413 to arrange an appointment.

 


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c

Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

Read What People Are Saying About Michelle Kelley.

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Testimonials

I just wanted to say THANK YOU. I left your office so inspired today.
...
AnnaMay
To say Michelle changed our lives would not be an exaggeration. She was very empathetic and non-judgmental... She didn't make our daughter feel badly... She didn't make my husband and myself feel like incompetent parents.
...
Linda
I definitely owe my newfound confidence to Michelle. Without her, I don’t know how I would’ve been able to come out of my horrible situation as such a better version of myself.
...
Grace
People don't understand Michelle doesn’t just offer advice… which they seem to be afraid of hearing. I convey the message that the decisions you make are ultimately your own but Michelle will help you find clarity and sort through emotions.
...
Chris
We felt comfortable knowing that Michelle would be the kind of counselor that would help our daughter see the good in herself, but also question some of her choices and actions.
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Patricia
You have brought back the communication ability that I thought that I lost. You helped her understand what we were feeling and she is such a better person for seeing you.
...
Maggie
Michelle, you are so right about [my daughter] and how she thrives off of feelings of accomplishment. All seems to be good now. She amazes me every day with the way she is learning to handle tough situations.
...
Cynthia
With Michelle’s guidance, I was able to accomplish in approximately 8 months what I hadn’t been able to over the past 15 years.
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Elizabeth
I am forever grateful for Michelle's help.
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Anne
Thank you, Michelle, for giving me my voice and a new lease on life.
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Nancy
Retired Arlington County Teacher
She helped me focus my attention toward problem-solving issues.
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Laura Clancy, Owner
MuffinToppled® Fitness Coaching
Michelle is the best life coach I ever had.
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Marina
Michelle is an excellent listener and her insights and advice were always right on target.
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Ann
(mother of a teen girl)
She helped me in so many ways!
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Kelly
Michelle Kelly saved my life. What more can I say?
...
Stephanie W.

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