1-Minute Read: Secrecy and Silence Keep Shame Alive

1 minute read-secrecy and silence keep shameShame is like arsenic to women.  It literally can destroy us from the inside out.  We can feel shame so deeply… and we are so good at hiding it. Secrecy and silence keep shame alive.

By now you know that I am an advocate of talking about the feelings we try so hard to hide.  Of course, we should be talking to someone we trust with our personal feelings.  Finding our safe place/safe person is essential to healing.  This is why women crave support groups and forums where we can share safely. This is where healing occurs.

I struggle with feelings of shame like many women.  Somewhere I got the message that I was supposed to be different, better (whatever that means).  I try to identify it, talk about it and release shame where I can.  Shame cannot exist with mindfulness and empathy.

Where does your shame come from?  

Mine started when I was in high school.  I felt shamed by the fact that I was not good at sports.  I felt shamed by my weight.  I felt shamed by my complexion.  I felt shamed because I could not talk confidently in front of others.  I felt shamed that I failed out of college my first year.  I felt shamed that I gained weight in college.  I felt shamed that I did not have an awesome career/job in my twenties.  I felt shamed of my age.  I felt shamed by my divorce.  I think that’s enough.  You get the picture.

You might think by this list that I am a complete mess.  Well, I am not.  I am like many women, maybe even you.  I embrace my faults and my insecurities.  I reach out for help.  Most importantly, I EMPOWER GIRLS AND WOMEN to know themselves, to be mindful and to create their path to move forward.

Sometimes being honest is refreshing.  Sometimes is scary.  Today it’s both.


Michelle Kelley 10.14 c
Michelle Kelley Licensed Counselor, Owner, Girls Stand Strong

Licensed counselor and founder of Girls Stand Strong Michelle Kelley, LCSW, helps girls and women of all ages develop and improve their self-image, self-esteem, relationship and communication skills, emotional understanding, coping skills, the ability to handle difficult situations and people, and resiliency to create a brighter, better and more successful tomorrow. For more information about Michelle’s coaching and counseling services, call (703) 505-2413 or email michelle@girlsstandstrong.com.

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